Five Steps to Gentling the World

gen•tle |?jentl|
verb
make or become gentle; calm or pacify

Yesterday, my daughter gave me some business advice. She suggested I should be more pushy.

I could tell her stories of when I marched so fearlessly into territory where the brave dare not trod that people had to leap out of my way. I’m surprised she doesn’t remember times her little legs had to run to keep up with me as I strode up to a situation with indignation and self righteousness fueling every step. At first, I wanted to remind her of those times, almost with a sense of pride.

“Oh honey, let me tell you. Your momma can be one fierce woman.”
I wanted to rise to the occasion. But would that be rising up, or sinking down?

In more civil times, being a gentle person was a mark of honor. Now, the more edgy the blog post; the more critical and demanding the conversation; the more we Drive Results…the greater honor we derive. From video games to board rooms, we score our lives by the number of kills we achieve.

We are a society proud to be on the offensive, and we assign celebrity status to some who are openly offensive all the time. Oh I’m sorry, did I just say Rush Limbaugh’s name out loud?

We’re entitled to our opinions and free to share them in more public venues than we ever would have thought possible. It’s not just certain tv commentators I now turn off—I hide whole individuals on facebook and twitter whose harsh diatribes add nothing to my day.

So, my beautiful Mary Charlotte. This time, I’m not taking your advice. Instead, I’m going to model the behavior of a woman who gentles her way through the world. Starting now.

Five steps to gentling the world.

1. Before you speak…blog…twit or update, ask yourself: What good will come from this?
2. Listen carefully to hear what another means before you respond to what was said.
3. If it’s not working, don’t do it harder. This advice comes from a friend’s Equine Experience at Miraval Spa in Tucson. She was trying to get her assigned horse to lift its hoof. The horse wasn’t cooperating, so she pushed harder and harder against its leg to win the effort. Wyatt Webb, her instructor, pointed out to her that if something’s not working, it doesn’t necessarily require a bigger dose of effort, it might require a new approach.
4. Ask more, tell less. Because if there’s one thing you should know, it’s that you don’t really know.
5. Quit yelling.

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