If…then

Did any of you take computer programming circa 1979 to 1981? It would be instruction completely foreign to students today, beginning with the appearance of the computer. The monitor was tiny, even compared to the laptop I’m typing on now. The “desktop” was still part of the furniture and not yet a reference to the appearance of the screen, which was always predictably black…or dark, dark greenish black.

My memory of computer lab is of myself in front of the monitor (just like the one above) helplessly staring at the word “if”, which was followed by a white cursor blink, blink, blinking in its place, waiting for me to offer a nudge of correct information to send it magically to the next step, which was “then.” The “then” always seemed to me a secure, yet unattainable link in the progression of logic…and academic success.

Sometimes, my mind still falls into the rut of exercising those logical demands on life. I want to program my existence and I am equipped with all sorts of tools to do so. If I walk on the elliptical at a speed above six miles per hour, then I will burn off the bagel I had for breakfast in 20 minutes; if a car costs this, then my payments would be that; if my kid’s SAT score is this, then his college choices are those; if I save at a certain rate, then I can retire at my goal retirement age (please, please let that be 46!); if I meet the goals established for my position at work, then glowing scores will be reflected in my employee review…

The fact is, there is no cursor waiting for our input in life. Life is what it is. It doesn’t happen “to” us, as we sometimes think in our most self-absorbed or depressed states. Life just happens. Sometimes, it’s a bit less predictable than others. When we allow our expectations to pave our path toward the then, we can often be disappointed and allow ourselves to feel sabotaged.

I have no great secrets to dealing with such times, although from my last post, you’re probably aware that I’m in them. (My husband did lose his job and my father’s pain is still unresolved.) However, I do think if we tend to some daily housekeeping of our spirits, we’re better prepared for the unexpected guests—whether welcome or not—that arrive on the doorsteps of our hearts.

1.     Get a good night’s sleep and it will be better in the morning. This is the advice my father gave me anytime I ever called home sure that my world had come crashing in. And the advice has never failed me. When we stay up late, have the second or third glass of wine, and slosh about in our mental muddle, we just make things worse for ourselves mentally and physically.

2.     Be prepared. Save money. Brush your teeth. Proofread all the materials. Don’t burn bridges. Exercise regularly…they are all the things we know we’re to do and often they’re things we think we can cut corners on. Ultimately, they’re not. Seeing to the little details in one’s life will weave the safety net that catches us when the rug’s pulled out from under.

3.     Laugh. Because why not. Laughter is good for every single one of your body’s systems (see—laughter IS the best medicine!). Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. You’re an important person—you’re cherished, as a matter of fact—but the world will not end because of your pain, suffering or sense of despair. God will provide through the world the beauty in a moment or the kindness in a stranger that will be exactly what you need to get through. And He will give you cause to smile…and even laugh at yourself and the mess you may be in.

4.     Breathe. My friend Kathy, who is among other things, a wonderful yoga instructor, taught me my favorite breathing technique. After reading my last blog post, she emailed it to me again…go figure! I’m going to share her step by step instructions at the conclusion of this post.

5.     You tell Me! I could go on indefinitely. (My husband just had a “dontiknowit!” moment.) I think we’re all better when we share skills and help one another see things in a new light. So tell me! What do you do to give your soul fertile ground where goodness can grow in the most challenging conditions? Here’s to goodness shared!

Kathy’s Breathing Tips: My suggestion is that you breathe deeply, extending the exhales and pausing briefly after each inhale and exhale. Take breathing “time-outs” and practice focused breathing for two minutes at a time —- working toward a 1:2 ratio of inhale:exhale (4 counts on the inhale, 8 counts on the exhale). REALLY. I know I sound like your crazy yoga friend, but it works. Try it and see if it helps you center and focus. (Just sit in a comfortable chair with good posture.) If you can stop thinking and just focus on the breath, that’s best. If not, focus on all the things you love.

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