I’m serious!

One of my favorite memories is of my friend Neena shaking her finger at the ceiling at 2 a.m. and yelling at our children gathered on the second floor “I mean it! And, I’m serious!” to emphasize that she was really past ready for them to settle down so she could sleep. Fits of giggles erupted upstairs from her three children and our three. They immediately launched into mocking choruses of “and I’m serious!” Neena gave up. I pulled the pillow over my head so she couldn’t hear me laughing, too. Perhaps you’d have to know Neena, but even as I sit at my computer, the memory makes me chuckle. But our need to be serious and to be taken seriously is no laughing matter.

Well, I shouldn’t say it’s no laughing matter because I think people who take themselves too seriously are hilarious. I love to watch them walk purposefully down the street or though an office building. They should have an “I’m obviously quite important” sticker on their backs. Their carriage is a stark contrast to that of the truly great people I have known…the leaders of businesses, communities and states, who walk humbly and quietly…ready to let the light shine on those around them first.

In my first week of my last job, I got to accompany the corporate VIPs to a grand opening of a new retail location in another city. When it was time to leave, my boss asked me to find the CEO and tell him it was time to get to the airport. I looked everywhere for the man. I looked in the groups of local and state dignitaries standing in a circle that obviously excluded the unimportant. I looked among the politicians…after all, the CEO was one of the most noted names in state politics, surely I’d find him there…but they were all busy with publicity photos. I looked among the executives from our own company…all the while trying to look like I hadn’t lost anything. Finally, I found him. He was in the deli seated across from one of the store’s employees. They were speaking together in Spanish and the CEO had his hands over the man’s and both of them had tears in their eyes. I obviously had stumbled across something very personal and felt awkward as I tried to find a gracious way to interrupt.

When we were on board the plane, the CEO wasted no time in phoning his assistant to tell her of the dire needs of a janitor with whom he had been visiting. He charged her with finding help for this man and his family. Then for a few moments, he was quiet and gazed out the plane window. Soon, he was busy swapping politically incorrect stories and laughing until tears came to his eyes, but for that moment, the CEO of the multi-biliion dollar company was focused on the needs of an immigrant janitor. Obviously, that CEO takes business very seriously or his company would never have reached the level of success it has today. But he never takes himself seriously.

I had a boss in Kansas, who was my favorite boss of all time and the only true servant leader I have ever known. The organization he led served adults and children with developmental disabilities. Maurice was as content to be among them as he was golfing with his friends at the country club. He liked to listen to their stories and he honored them by remembering what to ask about and to comment on conversations past. He loved it when they found new ways to make jokes, especially at his expense, and he loved to laugh along with them. Maybe Maurice’s secret is he’s Irish. Maybe he just knows that life is too short to let self importance overshadow its joy.

What a contrast to people who wear serious expressions (the kind Peter Pan said made him want to never grow up) and carry a grim demeanor to ward off any light hearted banter that might detract from their very, very, very important tasks. You find them everywhere. Sometimes, I’m one of them. The children we’re raising, the health of people I love, the responsibilities I have for my clients…it’s all serious stuff! Or is it?

When we start to take ourselves too seriously, we start to magnify our own importance and with that, we become convinced that we are a critical cog in some great wheel. Honestly, unless you have your finger on a nuclear button, I’m not too worried about whether you’re of any more importance than the janitor. Me either. I’m more concerned that the worried expression my serious attitude is causing might actually become fixed on my face. I don’t want worry wrinkles…only smile lines.

We listen so intently to the self important voices in our heads that we forget to listen to the voices around us that are full of untapped wisdom and goodness. Sometimes, those might be the voices of children, other times they’re of people we don’t like and with whom we really don’t want to associate. Sometimes they’re the voices of the outcast or the man who is retarded and walks with a crooked gait. And sometimes, the thing they may be telling us is this…”Lighten Up!”

Lightening up our perspective and letting go of our own sense of self importance will allow that which is truly important to rise to the surface. Maybe we’ll find a whole new approach to a situation thanks to someone we’d previously overlooked while perched on our high horse. Maybe we’ll find humor (oh please, please, please get your funny on!) in something…maybe even ourselves. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly! Have you ever heard that expression? Try living it. Try letting go of your worries, your deadlines (really…what is the worst thing that will happen if you fail!?), your self importance. Try slowing your pace and looking around at the people who share your world. They will reflect whatever it is you offer…let it be your joy.

And if nothing else, here’s one more anonymous quote that is one of my all time favorites…”blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!”

Have a light heart and an open spirit…it may change your life! And it will certainly let more goodness grow!

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