Keys to being a great motivator

“Don’t quit now, you’re almost there!”

“It’s okay to walk a little while, we’ll get there.”

These were some of the snippets of conversation I heard as I walked Sage past the playground where the annual Turkey Trot was going on the week before Thanksgiving. The Turkey Trot is the annual event where parents come to run around the playground with their elementary students before they sit down to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast. (Public-school grade canned turkey and watery corn—delish!)

I have to admit, I didn’t ever look forward to the Turkey Trot and was grateful when my children left that tradition behind and moved to middle school. I often found myself showing up in time to slip out of pumps and into tennis shoes hoping I didn’t sweat through my suit or fail to make it to the finish line. I only run to get out of the way.

It was fun to see it from this new perspective. Hearing the parents—who ranged from Dad’s in ties to uber fit moms in full running attire—brought home to me how quickly I judge. I wanted to say to the Dad who was yelling at his son not to quit “This is not the Olympics, give the kid a break!” But then, my reasonable balanced self said, “Only that Dad knows that child and what he needs to hear. Just like the parent who is giving a child the space to feel fine about walking during the run knows what her child needs to hear.”

So it goes with motivating or leading anyone.

• Recognize that what motivates you does not necessarily motivate everyone else. Just because individuals are part of the same team, group or family, does not mean they have the same set of values.
• Listen well enough to understand what it is your employee or your child needs to hear. What seems to bring them greatest personal joy? Start there…remembering you don’t have to agree, you do have to understand! If you listen, you might be able to connect the joy of leveling up on a video game to something you have in common. “That must be similar to the feeling I have when I improve my time on a run/get a new client/perfect a new recipe..”
• Want to know what really matters to someone? Indulge in some fun team building analytics to help, whether your team is comprised of people who’ve worked together for years, is just coming together, or are family members (see the first bullet again and practice stretching your mind a bit before you proceed with this!)

How do you know how to lead, how to parent, how to motivate? Share your thoughts for growing goodness with us!

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