Let’s Change the Subject

This is your holiday weekend call to action!

I bet most of you will see other people this weekend. There are picnics to attend, department store sales to shop, boats to launch and other limitless opportunities for engagement and conversation. Here’s your challenge…

In an effort to nurture understanding , we have to move our conversations in that direction. We will have to begin by learning how to change the subject as lately, conversations have a knack for drifting into negative territory of politics, economics and commiseration over despair fairly quickly. Here are some quick tips to use this weekend to become a better subject changer. (And please remember, I know some difficult subjects need to be addressed in order to move our country forward. I’m not suggesting we bury our heads in the sand, just that we start by getting out of the muck so we’re less tempted to sling it at one another.)

Seeds to Growing Better Conversations:

1. Keep Listening. Don’t quit listening just because someone starts a conversation about a contentious subject. Whether you agree with their perspective, or are offended by it, you will have to listen in order to understand how you might redirect it. I wish GoDaddy allowed my operating system to upload a video blog, but until they do, if you want to see me describe listening click here and if you want a 60-second tutorial on other communication tips, you can click here .  (You’ll see I got better at managing a minute and I have a brilliantly branded background!)

2. Find common ground. Ask open ended questions that will lead to some common interests…

Did you grow up in [insert your location here]? This leads naturally to discussions that might reveal the beauty of six degrees of separation if you happen to know someone who knows someone they might know!

What type of work are you involved in? This is a nicer version of “where do you work,” which can offend some stay-at-home moms and pour salt on the wound of those who are under- or unemployed.

Have you traveled much in the region?

Do you have children? What are their ages? Even if you don’t have children, you can empathize with parents because you were a child once. You can imagine that they must be tired if they have a newborn, or worried if they have a newly-licensed teenage driver. That brings me to my next tip…

3, Empathize. You don’t “know” how another person feels, even if you have a similar scenario to share (and please…remember that changing the subject does not mean redirecting the conversation to be about you! You’ll have much greater success if you make understanding others the focus of your conversations this weekend. Your clever life story can wait.). You can always work to imagine what another person is going through, even if you don’t share their perspective. For instance, I don’t parent in the same manner of people whose children are the center of all their activities, but I can imagine how hard it will be for them when they’re children leave home and I can guess why the tone of desperation creeps into their voices when they talk about it. It’s not my job to offer a different perspective. Understanding comes from appreciating that they see life from a viewpoint that is unique to their circumstances. I can empathize with that, even if I don’t share their view.

4. Just say no to religion and politics. Talk about sex instead! Just had to see if you were still reading! Seriously, the taboo subjects of sex, religion and politics are socially inappropriate because they are so very personal in nature. And unfortunately, in our current climate, those three issues seem to be tightly intertwined. So don’t go there. And you don’t have to be clever about it. A great way to steer conversations in a new direction is to say, “Let’s change the subject.” I know, I know…you expected more from me. But that’s the best I’ve got. It works every time. But you have to be equipped with points 1, 2 and 3 so you know what to do after you bring the conversation to a screeching halt.

Good luck friends. May Memorial Day weekend bring you a chance to enjoy a fresh breeze, a moment of quiet and a grateful heart for those who whose efforts and sacrifice have made it possible for us to choose to practice peace.

Let me know how be a changer of subjects works for you!

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bithu 5 pts

Life would be uncomplicated if only we could steer away from controversy and minding our tongue in many a situation where we could have avoided a lot of animosity!! I totally agree on changing the subject when is comes to delicate subjects and the advice given here are so fantastic that I am sure many people like me will be keeping it in mind hereafter! I hope to read similar blogs again!http://automaticpoolcleanersreview.com/

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