Schedule Serendipity

My mother, a former English teacher and a brilliant woman, used to say to her daughters when we were all gathered, “are you having serendipitous moments?!” While one can’t plan or schedule serendipity, I think her ironic implication was meant to remind us of the value of such times. And, I believe the times we did experience mutually serendipitous moments and had “lovely visits” were the times that brought her the greatest maternal joy.

I just leanred, thanks to my desktop dictionary, that there’s a lot more to serendipity than spotaneous moments of pure joy (my definition…not Webster’s!). The term serendipity originated in 1754. Horace Walpole is credited with coining the phrase suggested by The Three Princes of Serendip, a fairy tale in which the heroes were “always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

Serendipitous moments are often easier to identify in retrospect. Sometimes, the moment itself may be laced with frustration as it distracts us from our intended course. We are focused on achievement and performance and “accidents” are generally not happy occasions. And the wisdom to recognize and appropriately respond to an opportunity we haven’t anticipated is often in short supply.

What we do anticipate is having most of our needs met quickly and usually with a custom fit that meets our expectations. In fact, for the wealthy, the world is one huge menu of custom-made opportunities. Automobiles, homes, vacation experiences, desk chairs, your personal computer, cell phone plan…even your Converse tennis shoes and your coffee beverage…they can all be made exactly to your specifications. No surprises there. Even gift giving is custom tailored with on-line registries that indicate to the recipient what they’ll receive even before they open a single package. This made-to-order lifestyle promises we’ll get everything just the way we wanted it. And that seems to make us very, very happy.

But, Joy—pure joy that resonates from the center of your being and makes you feel physically new for a moment—that has yet to be customized. That’s because it’s the gift that says, “surprise!” Initially, it may seem to be the gift you didn’t want, but looking back you’ll find yourself saying “wasn’t that serendipitous?” Or it may be obvious—the moments that take away our breath and bring tears to our eyes. Regardless, our lifestyles today may be limiting our exposure to serendipitous discoveries.

When you’re on your Blackberry, blazing your way across three lanes of freeway traffic to keep up with the instructions on your GPS so you can make it to the next stop on your strategic schedule, you’re highly unlikely to be making space for serendipity. And the kind of sagacious wisdom that yields the discernment to leave the path down which you’re rushing headlong to serendipitously take another road less traveled…well that kind of performance doesn’t show up as a positive indicator on anyone’s metric. Serendipity Seeker, isn’t one of the qualities that melds well with goal-oriented, self-starter, results-driven qualities that sell well today. Yet, those who have experienced those unplanned “Ah Ha!” or “Incredible!” moments know they are the catalyst for all sorts of goodness. Great business concepts have grown from serendipitous seedlings. Serendipity shared—the times when you are with another who “gets it” at exactly the same moment—is one of the most powerfully connecting human experiences available.

So what can we do to cultivate the lifestyle that allows space for serendipity to return to our lives? Here are some simple thoughts…you can let me know what has worked for you.

1. Look up. Look Around. Nothing good ever came from powering your way through anyplace—even an airport—like you are a bull charging out of a chute. When you look up and look around you, you can see all kinds of things you weren’t “in quest of.” Those things that inspire, warm your heart and nurture your spirit may be just what God was offering to remind you that it is Your Father’s world. Or maybe you need to look up to see need, injustice, grief, and heartache. After all, in Your Father’s world you are His hands and feet.

2. Try something new. Preferably something for which the outcome is totally unknown. Even the experience itself will yield soul-stretching results, and the outcome might delight you. And the outcome might be awful. But you’ll never know unless you try. Start with something simple, like eating new ethnic foods, or even trying a new recipe at home. Serendipity will bump into you more easily if you’ve climbed out of your rut.

3. Listen purposefully. Listen, as Stephen Covey says, with the idea of understanding a person. Try to go way beyond reflective listening. (I always have a hard time when someone practices reflective listening techniques on me, as I feel that playing back a tape of my own monologue would serve the same purpose!) Try to understand what a person thinks or feels. Not only might you learn something new, but you will give the other person the greatest gift of honor—undivided attention.

4. Be silent. Serendipitous moments rarely are bold enough to break through the noise. But there, as you’re walking on a calm spring morning, it just might wait for you to whisper to your heart. Be silent. Be still.

5. Be open. The bigger the channel you create in your heart, the more goodness God will pour in and through you. We have to open our minds, our hearts…it even helps to stop (see number 4) and stretch open your arms and just breathe. That physical openness that says “Fill me up Lord!” empowers you to go pour yourself out on behalf of those in need.

6. Be ready. I was never an athlete, but as a mother of athletes and even engaging in simple things like snow skiing, I understand the value of the “ready position.” I focus my weight on the balls of my feet and I can turn more easily. I’m ready to quickly go in a new direction. We need to be ready to change course…whether in a conversation, a conviction (yes…hello…you can change your mind!), weekend plans or a business strategy. Sagacious wisdom may reveal to you a serendipitous opportunity, or a make-a-difference moment. Be ready.

And finally…schedule serendipity…maybe not the serendipitous moment itself, which is not of your making…but the making of the time to reconnect with the parts of your spirit that make those moments tangible. Even when you’re traveling for business or have a schedule that is absolutely packed to capacity, carving out 10 minutes to be still can happen when you’re driving or in your motel room at the start of the day. If you create the right conditions, serendipitous seeds will be planted and goodness knows what good things will grow.

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