These Days

In two days, I will be tucked into the little corner of Montana where Peace always finds me. It’s a good thing, as I’ve managed to knock Peace flat lately as I roll through life in a giant stress ball for the past month (picture the thing hamsters can roll around in…only mine is hard and prickly…and a little cold!). How did I come to be in this state and how will I get out…or at least into a kinder gentler ball (like the lovely, sparkling bubble that transports Glenda through Oz!) or back onto the path of peace?
Well, I’m going to put one foot in front of the other. I’ve already started, actually. I’ll tell you about some of the steps I’m taking toward my return to the orb of optimism and balance. And I want you to tell me about your journey. Together, it will be much more inspiring, and is likely to be far more entertaining than a Mimi soliloquy.

Step One     Turn it Around. My friend Kathy who set me on the road to better breathing (see the last paragraph of If…then to remember this great technique!), gave me some advice for putting the breaks on the spiral of despair. “Whatever you’re thinking; think the opposite.” Because so much of what we stress over is based on our assumptions it is often truer than not that we’re not operating on anything but a negative interpretation of our own perspective. So, if you’re going to make up some conclusions, let the endings be happy ones! Worried about where you might be living or what you might be doing next year? Well then, anticipate that it might be the best experience ever, packed with potential and goodness—not a dreary burden you will have to bear or a transition you will have to endure.

Put a positive spin on a challenge or worry. For example, if you’re worrying about the health of a family member, cherish the fact that you have them to worry about. I have so many dear friends who have lost parents and siblings in the last month. They would love to have them back to worry over just a little longer. It may feel like such Pollyanna mind flips are illogical and fly in the face of reason, but tell me, where are your worries getting you?

Step Two     Surround yourself with Goodness. Today, when I was at the pinnacle of Mount Pathetic, I looked around and saw a cluttered kitchen; shreds of wrapping paper and those irritating little styrofoam packing pellets scattered about the floor; furniture out of place and every pair of shoes we own (slight exaggeration) and even some we don’t (true, but I think I know which 17-year-old boy is missing them) strewn about the family room. To top things off, we’re having our third day of rain here…and it’s cold for Phoenix—lower 50s—don’t you laugh, my northern comrades!! As I determined to change my outlook, I made minor changes to my environment. It took ten minutes to put things away (I did not even think about dusting…please!), brew a pot of tea, put on my favorite instrumental Christmas music and build a fire in my fireplace. Now the rain feels like the perfect accompaniment to the space I made for my spirit.

Step Three     See beauty. You know I’m a big proponent for seeing beauty around you, but sometimes you need to hold a vision of a favorite beautiful place that you carry inside. It can change—an internal cache of images that can flash across your mind like a slde show on demand—but the important thing is that you know it exists. Knowing there is another place reminds you that there are other times—times past to store as beautiful memories, and times future waiting to be embraced. Being present in the present is an important skill to master, but sometimes the present can better be appreciated and/or tolerated if we have these other resources at our disposal. Here’s my image of the moment…

This is the road to the cabin last December 25th. The footprints in the snow represent my sister Margaret and me. We’d gone for a lovely walk down to the creek. My fellow blogger Jackie Dishner shares how such views can serve to help us work toward something. I like to bring them to mind to help get through prickly moments. Think of your beautiful mental images as multi-purpose!

Step Four     Share the load. I didn’t really know how much time I’d spend bumping around in my stress ball until my friend Shelley  called from Oklahoma today to see if I was okay. No blogging. No emails. Just radio silence. I had tuned into the static and internal interference of Mimiland for so long I forgot to broadcast…to reach out. Sometimes, my reaching out can be conveyed in a big brain- or heart-dump to a friend. These cathartic moments get it all—the bad and the ugly—out of my system so I can begin to sort through my stuff. Other times, my reach finds just the right hand to grasp at just the right moment. That happened today when a woman I barely know was so relaxed and empathetic about a scheduling conflict (which I was creating!) that I nearly cried. I hope someday I offer that kind of comfort connection to someone.

Step Five     Laugh and cry. Whichever seems more appropriate—sometimes they kind of blend into one hysterical meltdown. Whichever, comes to you first, let it wash through you and open up your clinched jaw and your controlling grip. Let it still the voices inside your head that repeat the continuous loop of your “to dos” and “to bes”. You will emerge refreshed and feeling better equipped to deal with the next moment.

Step Six     Dance a little. This works great when you’re doing it as you’re engaged in step five. Do a little jig to Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel or leap through the halls as Here We Come A Wassailing plays through your head. Tis the season for miracles and joy. It’s hard to ignore the spirit if you decide to make yourself a channel for its goodness…for goodness sake!

Step Seven     You tell me!

I send you each my prayers for a peace-full season. For me, I find that peace in the most amazing love that came as a gift in cold and dark days. Early Christians chose to celebrate Christ’s birth at this time of the year because it is when light begins to return to the world…days extend and sunlight warms corners it hasn’t reached for awhile. And Christ came to show us how to extend light and love to dark corners. It starts within us…warming up the overlooked and cluttered corners of our souls so we have more room for to fill our spirits with the love and goodness we—and the world—so desperately need. Love to all and each of you!
Mimi

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