Touch Points…literally

My husband has read most contemporary books written about Abraham Lincoln. Currently he’s reading John C. Waugh’s “One Man Great Enough. Abraham Lincoln’s Road to Civil War.” In that book, Greg found something intriguing and blog worthy—the description of a 19th century frontier practice known as lap sitting. Now before you all rush to mark today’s post as containing adult content, I have to tell you, this has less to do with laps and more to do with building relationships.

According to Waugh’s research, when Stephen Douglas was serving as a judge in the Fifth Judicial Circuit of the Illinois Supreme Court in 1841, his behavior on the bench was somewhat unconventional. For example, he would often sit in his chair with his feet on the bench while attorneys presented their arguments. Apparently “…while council were arguing to the jury, [Douglas] would leave the bench, go round among the listeners & spectators, sit upon their knees and chat and laugh and joke with them. Such lap sitting was not an uncommon way to conduct a conversation on the frontier, but Douglas, given his size, could do it better than most.”

Can you imagine a short squatty judge making the rounds in our courtrooms sitting on the laps of spectators? He’d be arrested.

Think about the relationship building at the core of this story. Douglas was a Supreme Court Judge. Yet, he left his bench and came down for a visit. The extension of himself to those gathered certainly didn’t hurt him politically. And I would guess it did a great deal of good personally, both for him and those with whom he visited. He understood the climate and culture of his courtroom in a way that would never have been possible from the comfort of his bench. And the people saw him leave a position of power to come down and sit with them. He quite literally shared their space.

We all have high horses. Maybe you are in a highly esteemed position of leadership. Sometimes, we call the horse our “gifts” (not to be confused with a gift horse!) Maybe you are sure you or your children are intellectually or athletically superior. Maybe you are very cultured and worldly. Perhaps you are very organized and efficient. Regardless, it’s time to get off your horse and over yourself.

• The answers to your latest conundrum may be in the mind of someone you’ve discounted or overlooked.
• You may find your perspective broadened by one who looks at life from a different angle.
• Perhaps you will find that you are weary of the saddle and don’t belong on that high horse at all.
• The beauty and stillness around you is more empowering when you’re still and in its midst.
• And, you may just gain a greater appreciation for your horse and value the ride more deeply.

Take time to sit awhile…to linger and visit. I am not sure I’d recommend taking the knee of a stranger, but there’s a lot to be said for things we’re losing…like eye contact, a pat on the shoulder or a gentle hug. In those points of contact we experience synergy, reciprocity and love. I think those are very good things indeed.

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